shattered glass..or..a rainbow after the rain

"... ..dan jgnlah kamu berputus asa drp rahmat Allah.
Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allahmelainkan kaum yg kafir."
-Surah Yusuf ayat 12

akal berserabut..
jiwa bertarung ..
terperosok di penjuru..
merenung hari yang datang dan pergi..

di waktu dia amat memerlukan..
tiada tempat mengadu..
hanyalah tuhan..

bagaikan hujan
airmata hanya pelepas
mendung perasaan yg lelah
menjadikan dia insan

sebelum mampu mengumpul kekuatan
untuk bangkit dan bertahan
terus gagahberani
bagaikan seharum hijau rumput
selepas hujan

tiada kebal..
kerna dia manusia
punya rasa..
punya hati..
namun masih punya akal..

kerna masih memegang iman
dia percaya..
dalam keadaan yang terdesak..
bantuan tuhan itu datang..
pasti..dan mungkin..
dalam bentuk yang tidak disangka-sangka

urs truly at times can be so fragile and she herself didn't understand why..
makin tambah usia jd macam tu eh?..never mind..Tuhan itu Maha mendengar..

Bila aku memikirkan surat itu..

setahun berlalu..
aku semakin mengerti..
disebalik realiti perjuangan ini

siapa kata boleh balik sharp at 5?
siapa kata boleh lepak minum kopi goyang kaki?

anda nampak dia baca suratkhabar berjam-jam..
tapi anda tak nampak dahi yang berkerut-kerut memikirkan penyelesaian ..
aduan orang ramai..luahan orang ramai di dalam suratkhabar itu

anda nampak dia asyik minum kopi..
tapi ada anda tanya berapa jam sahaja dia tidur semalam..
menyiapkan kertas kerja ..
atau sememangnya tidak dapat tidur memikirkan pelbagai hal..

mampukah anda untuk tidur ..
apabila memikirkan haluan hidup seorang manusia di tangan anda?
mampukah anda untuk melelapkan mata..
apabila sedar impak keputusan anda terhadap masa depan seorang manusia?
masa depan bangsa? masa depan negara?
mampukah anda untuk merehatkan diri ..
apabila menggalas beban tanggungjawab yg berat..?

belum lagi memikirkan perjanjian anda dengan tuhan..
perjanjian anda atas nama tuhan..

lelah?..memang kekadang payah..

mungkin ada di sesetengah tempat ..di sesetengah jawatan..
anda boleh bersenang lenang..

namun ada yang bersusah payah..bertungkus lumus..
berjaga malam.. working long hours..
memastikan khidmat pelanggan terbaik..

ada yang dalam seminggu hanya sehari di rumah..
dalam sehari hanya beberapa jam sahaja dirumah..

ya..mungkin ada yang sambil lewa..
ada yang terlepas pandang..
ada yang tersilap langkah..

dalam berhati-hati..
kekadang ada batu di jalanan..

mereka manusia ..
anda manusia..
tiada manusia sempurna..
dan sememangnya manusia tidak pernah puas dengan apa yang ada..
sentiasa mengharapkan yang lebih baik..
maka kita sentiasa berusaha

tapi kita saling bergantung harap..
kita saling memerlukan..

jika anda sampan ..dia dayungnya..
jika anda lelayang..dia talinya..
jangan sampai hanyut..terbang ..

kenapa tidak kita saling menyokong..
supaya kita sama teguh..
supaya tiada angin yg mampu menggoncang..
akar kukuh kesatuan ini.


urs truly berterima kasih kepada semua yang telah berjasa kepadanya,
bangsa dan negara..
dulu, kini dan akan datang..
juga syukur pada tuhan atas nafas yg duhirup dan rezeki yang dilimpahkan..
:D

NO IDEA

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's" Your Element?

surat rahsia nanti

Dan sesungguhnya Tuhanmu sedia mengetahui

apa yang terpendam dalam hati mereka

dan apa yang mereka nyatakan (dengan tutur kata dan perbuatan)

-surah An-Naml, ayat 74-

kadang-kadang
ada perkara tidak perlu disuratkan..
ada perkara yang tidak perlu diketengahkan..
ada perkara hanya untuk dirahsiakan..

juga pasti
ada perkara tidak bisa digali..
ada perkara tidak perlu dicari..
ada perkara hanya mampu dinanti..

:D

urs truly menanti hari utk pulang..

lawyer perhaps??

Selama ini aku selalu dgr apa itu afidavit..
roughly i know what it is..
tapi hari ini baru aku tau makna sesebenarnya..
It is actually from a Latin word and it means "He has declared upon oath"
thanx to an article in UTUSAN today..
ish

well.. it is a law term..I blajaq IT dulu..
ginilaa jadinya bile blaja mende lain..keje wat mende lain..
anyway it is a challenge for me..
bermula 2007 aku dgn penuh semangatnya berazam utk master all this law terms..
at least those related to what i do..
duhh..

I need to work hardd..real hardd..
learn dear..learn..n learn FAST!!

sebenarnya dulu masa belajar business law (both utp n paac)
aku rasa cam best..because they play with words..

urs truly feel like being a lawyer..hrmm..

sandwich??

Last night
I was watching this cooking show (while waiting for dunia baru)
which the cook hv a van shaped like a toaster..
argghh..forgot the name of the show at the travel channel(channel 11 Astro)
anyway.. he made a sandwich with mushroom..honey..veggies..cheese and all..nice..
terasa lapar plak..
padahal i already ate asam laksa while lepaking with the gang kat taman warisan after office..
what to do? ..

so teringat yang bergedel( meat patties) lebihan soto weekend aritu ada banyak lagi..
i fried 5 pieces.. toast the bread..some ketchup and pepper..
wallaa..my own creation "bergedel sandwich"
sodapp jugak..

weekend arituh belajar buat soto dr ain..
especially the bergedel..takde laa susah sgt ek..hehe

p/s: urs truly budak-budak baru belajar..jangan marah..at least i want to learn what huhu

JUARA LAGU

Terlalu istimewa
sang by Adibah Noor won the juara Lagu last night..
as expected actually.. for the song was as special as the title
and ADibah have a greatTT voice.. smooth..and full of energy..

I had the opportunity to watch her singing live..
during one of the dinners held in conjunction of the Sultan's birthday
a few years back..
really breathtaking..she hit the high note without effort..
arghh i was so damn jealous..hehe

and on that particular night too..
for the first time in my life..
i heard my father.. on stage ..singing..
and all of us..
i mean ..me n my siblings was shocked..
hehe yeah we heard him singing before
but not on stage..hehehe

i thought i was the only one ..
who love singing..
who always did a "free concert" at home..
sometimes my younger sister will join in..
and she is good at doing the harmony..

and last raya..
I just knew that my cousins are good at playing guitar..
maybe we can have a mini concert among ourselves someday..hehe
only for self amusing ..i guess..

urs truly only sing for fun.. and releasing the tension n pressure..

Chance or choice??

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.
But true love that lasts is truly a choice.
A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this:
"Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

wow..i quote all that (in blue colour) from a UTP-mate's blog..
nice one!

the post was about choice and chance..

urs truly summarised:

Meeting someone is a chance..

BUT

to decide to be forever with someone no matter what is a choice..

prosperity

Semalam balik dari ofis aku n ain pegi makan prosperity burger..
ain laa mengidam..heheh..
alang-alang aku ajak norish sekali ..
kebetulan dia dah dapat posting kat ICU di JPM..
we met syikin n bro p*nd* there..

hah..my gloomy mood was getting better..
bercerita ngan si norish..
n having prosperity yg pedas tuh..
:p

ain 2 kali makan prosperity burger dalam satu hari tuh..
mengidam punya fasal..
norish commenting about me tak gemuk-gemuk..
I've already got used with that remarks long ago..dunno what to do ..
not that i didn't eat..in fact i hardly miss any meal in a day..
I love to eat what??...hehe

habib jewel ada promotion lagi kat alamanda..
norish usha2..cari cincin kawin katanya..
seriously ..there are so many gorgeous rings on sale.. hmm

she and ain chit chatting bout preparation for their wedding
which coincidently going to happen in the same month..
duhh now there are already three weddings in the list for that particular month..
hopefully not on the same weekend..

yours truly is happy for them..

embracing the rain..??

wah...
i was enjoying the gloomy day... the gloomy me..trying to get my job done..
so in between files..( you know..reading files..you need a break in between)
i read a few e-mails..There was this e mails sent by acik..with a lot of "jangan" in it
one of the 'jangan' hit me like a slap on the face..

Jangan terlalu susah hati dengan urusan dunia.
Akhirat itu lebih utama dan hidup di sana lebih lama dan kekal selamanya.

wo..
insaf duhhh...
aku terlalu fikir fasal aku..bla bla bla
aku terlalu fikir fasal kerja aku..nak baikkan kerja..nak baik dengan bos..make sure the results up to people's standard
aku terlalu fikirkan hal ehwal famili aku..nak balik bila jenguk famili..
aku terlalu fikirkan betapa aku ini selalu menyusahkan orang..
menyusahkan famili aku..menyusahkan kawan-kawan..gee..

harapnya tidaklah sampai aku terlupa akan tuhan..
terlupa tanggungjawabku sebagai hamba..
terlupa pasal akhirat..
terlupa dan terlupa ...
dipohon tuhan sentiasa memelihara dan mengingatkan..
semoga orang sekeliling sentiasa menjaga dan mengingatkan..
semoga alam sentiasa menyedarkan dan mengingatkan..

amin..

:p

mute..

these few days..
aku macam malas btul nak bercakap..kenapa ye..?
tapi aku bercakap jugak..nanti cam ada problem lak tetiba senyap..
tapi sebenarnya macam malas nak bercakap..
nak diam je..bleh tak?
nak senyum jer bleh tak?
tanak bagi respons bleh tak?
cam bengong lak..haha

emotionally unstable..
physical health also not in it tiptop condition..
It may because of the weather.. yo-yo..

:[

i've tried my best to smile..
engaged in conversations..
but no matter how hard i tried..
I still felt lost..
Like I was physically there but actually i was not..
I was talking..smiling..laughing..
but the truth is.. I was not..

feel drained..exhausted..

gee..day by day..
I felt like drowning..
deep and deeper..
into the sea of mess..

the mess of my life..

yours truly need a saviour~~ :p

I really wanna hate someone but i just can't..
don't have the heart to..
someone make me sad..
and it hurts..
I was suprised that i'm not over it yet..
gee..get over it dear~~

hehe..that is what i got from the sleepless nights this week..arghh..
hate it when i hv to 'mengadap' the big boss..
(not to say i hate the big boss..luv him..especially when he tak byk songeh..)
wwahahaha so kalut..n to plus the kalut..
out of the blue moon someone ' bertanya khabar' which i wish he hadn't..haha
menganggu ketenteraman awam..erk..me..

oopss mampus org tanak kawan ngan aku ..tanye khabar pun takble..kuang kuang..
no..big NO..saya suke..suke sangat bila ada org tanya khabar..showing their concern..
just under certain terms and conditions jer yang boleh diletakkan di bawah klausa mengganggu ketenteraman awam..eh ..me..
hehehe

alamak dah jadi ayat skema..
better get back to work..
tapi macam malas..
dan disebabkan kekacauan jiwa telah ditimbulkan..
maka langkah-langkah pencegahan perlu diambil..
dengan serta-merta..
sebelum boleh menimbulkan rusuhan perasaan
yang boleh menganggu gugat kesejahteraan negara..eh..aku dan kerja aku..

damn ..
terpaksa buat-buat bz ..
sekadar menutup kegelisahan
walaupun hanya menipu diri sendiri

warning: segala yang jiwang di sini adalah untuk pembacaan sahaja tidak berkaitan dangan mana-mana hati dan perasaan hehe..

2006: FULL OF LOVE, LIFE & ADVENTURE

In 2006 , I........

1.went to Sabah and Labuan
...and i finally had stood on the soil of each 14 states of Malaysia at least once in my lifetime.

2.hiking and trekking up a mountain- mount Panti
...and there are rumors about Big Foot 's sightings there..hmm luckily we have guides from the army with us.

3.wore the police uniform
...and I once told my teacher in std 3 that i wanna be a policewoman..plus i wrote it down in my friends' autograph book..and last year, during the reunion of the class, they reminded me about that..at least i got the chance to fulfill my dream..hehe

4.did abseiling TWICE
...and I thought i had develop acrophobia(afraid of heights) after the 'confidence fall' in UTP during orientation.

5.went kayaking around Pulau Pangkor
...and it means 8 hours of rowing and I thought I will never have the strengh to finish it..the arms felt numb though..

6.get a chance of shooting the M16 and vector
...and i never thought those firearms are heavy..It look easy in the movies..hehe

7.get a feel of scuba dive
...and I thought i will never get over the bittersweet experience of snorkelling in Pulau Perhentian

8.went discovering (walk..crawl..bla..bla..) a cave-Gua Itik somewhere in Pengkalan Hulu
...and you guess it right..i've been the generous blood donor to 'pacat's the bloodsucker".. the cave probably named after its condition which is full of water..if it is raining then it is advisable not to enter it...there is even a river flows through it.

9.won a singing competition
...and I was just recovering from a very bad flu that week..thanks to the duet partner and gutarist who patiently compromise with my not so well condition..and my voice ended up sound like 'ABOT ' ( if you can still remember her) ..4 tablet of strepsils really help but mind you 4 tablets within one hour is actually overdose..hehe

10.finally had my own little office..(not a cubicle) with a view!!
...and I yee haa..talking about having the peace of mind to get the work done..

11.got a few addition to the family and gain a bunch of friends..
...and I am totally blessed.. they may be far but they are always there for me..sometimes they broke my heart..and I broke theirs but I will always love you guys anyway..and forever..

there were more..and more things..happened in 2006..
some were worth telling..some were meant for me to treasure..
and reflect..
for 2007 is promising a new sunshine and rainbow over the cloudy sky..

WELCOME 2007!!

p/s:this post is suppose to be posted in the end of Dec but because the internet connection was so bad I postponed it.. pics will be dloaded soon